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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24687091">Was It Obvious To Everybody Else?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_On_My_Own/pseuds/Living_On_My_Own'>Living_On_My_Own</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Queen (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Betrayal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:55:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24687091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_On_My_Own/pseuds/Living_On_My_Own</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships ending hurt, but friendship ending kill. Freddie is lost after losing one of the most important friendships in his life, but someone is always there to make things better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury, Mary Austin/Freddie Mercury</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Was It Obvious To Everybody Else?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Freddie's POV:</em>
</p><p>I closed the door of her house, deep pain in my chest starting to form. She had promised me everything, and now she was taking it all back for someone else. Everything Mary promised me was now worthless. I was probably worthless in her eyes now. She was happy with her life, and it meant that I wasn't in any way important in her life from now on.</p><p>She used to be feeling unhappy often. She told me how bad she felt each time because I didn't give her the choice. I was here for her and always asked how she was doing and I told her how incredible she was each time she talked bad about herself. She was there for me too, she comforted me when the days were harder, when the fights began being bigger with the boys, when the days were lonelier. She was the one I could always go to when I needed someone to talk because there was no one that knew about the real me as much as Mary.</p><p>But she began being happier, she had a new boyfriend, she had a new life ahead of her. A happy life that I could have given her, no matter of close we were as friends. So she decided that I wasn't necessary anymore. She stopped calling, she stopped caring. I tried reaching out to her several times, she didn't ask how I was doing anymore. She didn't notice the loneliness in my voice when I talked to her, she didn't notice my not so subtle attempts to make her visit me. I stopped being important.</p><p>_____</p><p>
  <em>"Nobody loves me, Mary." I told her sadly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She put her hand on my cheek and forced me to look at her. She smiled at me. She brought me closer to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll always love you, Freddie. Forever." She answered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_____</em>
</p><p>Was it obvious to everybody else that I'd fallen for a lie? She made me believe I was worth something to her, she made me believe I mattered in this world full of shit, lies and betrayal. I believed every word that came out of her mouth.</p><p>She told me David wasn't good enough for me. She said I was better without Joe because he didn't have the right to leave me like that. She comforted me when he left. She told me I should have never been with Tony and that she knew from the start he was bad for me, that he wouldn't be faithful. She told me to get away from Bill, that he wouldn't give me anything good. She told me it would never work out with Winnie, even if love him dearly. I always believed her.</p><p>I would have stayed with them otherwise, even if they weren't always good with me, they were the ones that could make me the closest to love as possible. But no matter how much I loved and cared for everyone, no matter how hard I tried to keep people close to me, they always left, one after another.</p><p>It was the same with John, Brian and Roger. They had families and wives now, they had better things to do than spend their time with me. After every session at the studio, they now went home instead of going out like we used to. They had their friends that I didn't know. And me, I had my parties, in my incredibly big mansion. I had my cats, my art pieces, my piano, my garden. I was stupid, buying a house too big for me, and then throwing gigantic parties in it, only to fill the hole in my heart that kept growing day after day. I had never been so lonely in my entire life.</p><p>But who could I talk to about it, now?</p><p>I had been to her house today to talk to her about everything happening between us. I didn't like to admit it, but I went to see her also because I couldn't stop seeing her, it hurt too much. I confronted her, about her lying to me, about her not caring anymore, about her forgetting about me. And she kept joking, like it wasn't anything serious, like I was a fucking joke. And then she told me that she was happy now, and that it was without me.</p><p>I didn't answer. I only stormed out. And it was only at this moment that I realised I had really lost my best friend. And she would never be back. I forbidden myself to cry, but I really wanted to. What good was there left of my life? No one worth anything would want me. No one wants someone that has never been in a serious relationship at 38 years old and that is a mess half the time.</p><p>I shook these thought out of my head. I crossed the street to get in Garden Lodge. I took Tom in my arms and kissed his furry head when he walked to me.</p><p>_____</p><p>
  <em>"I'll always love you, Freddie. I'm the love of your life, remember? Nobody will ever love you as much as I do. When others will leave you, I'll always be the one remaining. You don't have to worry about getting a lover, because I'm here." She convinced me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She placed a kiss on my forehead and I smiled at her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you, Mary."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_____</em>
</p><p>I hated her for doing this to me, for making me convinced she was the only one for me. And now, because of her, I had lost everything. She told me no one would ever love me as much as she did, but if she didn't love me, no one would really love me. She tricked me into thinking I was worth anything to others. She let me believe I was important to the people close to me, but who the fuck was close to me now?!</p><p>I knew it wasn't completely her fault. I wasn't good to her. But i tried so hard to be. I tried to be more there for her. To listen to her and make the conversation be about her instead of me. I knew she thought i was selfish, so i tried not to be. I did my best for her to feel good with, but apparently it wasn't enough.</p><p>The phone ringed, I didn't pay attention at the beginning, before finally deciding to see who it was. At least someone bothered to call.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Hey, Freddie! It's Jim, I was wondering if you'd like to come to my flat today, I could cook us something." He proposed.</p><p>"Oh- uh, yeah sure." I answered slightly smiling.</p><p>He gave me his address and told me to come as soon as possible. Jim and I had met at the bar a few weeks before. We exchanged numbers and we saw each other four or five times. He had stopped calling the last two weeks, so I thought maybe he didn't find interest in being with me anymore, like everyone at this moment. I was surprised about him calling.</p><p>Approximately an hour later, I was showered, dressed and ready to leave. Terry drove me to Jim's address. When I arrived and knocked at his door, he opened it for me and took me in his arms a few seconds. I smiled at him when we pulled away and he did too.</p><p>"I already started cooking. I did some homemade pizzas, I hope you like that?" He told me with some hesitation in his voice.</p><p>"It's perfect." I said softly, smiling at him.</p><p>He talked to me for a while. I wished I knew what he was talking about, but I didn't. He wasn't facing because he was busy cooking, but he kept talking about something, I guessed he liked what he was talking about because his eye lit up and he kept smiling. I just stared at him, not getting a word he was saying, a lump in my throat and too many things rushing in my head.</p><p>I shouldn't have come here. He wanted me to be here with him, to have a conversation, to spend some time together. I couldn't do any of that. I kept thinking of Mary, of the boys. They were probably at home, taking care of their children and their wife. They were probably happy of finally having what they wished for, love, a family, success, happiness. Well everything but peacefulness at the studio, we kept fighting, not agreeing to anything. Maybe it was just too much for them. Maybe it was a sign we were near the end. The end of Queen.</p><p>"Freddie?!" I heard Jim call.</p><p>I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him guiltily.</p><p>"Were you listening?" He asked me with his Irish accent I loved.</p><p>"Uh, not really. I'm sorry. What were you saying?" I asked him.</p><p>He looked at me a few seconds with a weird face then continued to talk. After a few other minutes, it was time to eat. He took two plates and placed them on the table that was facing the fireplace. I sat on one of the chairs and he sat in front of me. I stared at the plate intensely, thinking that the next I would be sitting at my own fancy table and expensive chair, looking at a plate filled with ridiculously pricey aliments, with no one sitting on one of the many chairs, no one talking to me, no one listening to one of the thought that would go through my head. One of the thoughts I'd usually say out loud, expecting someone to answer, before realising that there was no one to hear me. I'd be looking around me, at my giant dining room, filled with art works I bought with the ton of money I have. I'd see maybe one of my cars waking past silently, delicately. And the only doors opening in the house would be the people working for me, no friends, no lover, no family, no one to love.</p><p>"Are you okay, Freddie?" Jim asked me.</p><p>I looked at him slowly. I nodded before looking back at the plate and taking a bite of the meal. It tasted fantastic, but I didn't say anything in fear of my wobbly voice giving away anything.</p><p>"Are you sure you wanna be here?" He said.</p><p>I closed my eyes tightly, letting the tightness in my chest consume me. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to avoid saying so he wouldn't really want me to leave, like everyone else does actually.</p><p>"I do want to be here. It- I'm sorry Jim. It's just really been a- a hard week." I explained.</p><p>"Everyone is pretty much getting tired of me these days." I said chuckling quietly, it was probably more a sad laugh.</p><p>"Why are you saying that?" He asked, looking at me with caring eyes.</p><p>"Well, today, the one I thought was my best friend told me she was happy now and it was without me and I keep fighting with my band mates everyday and we barely even really talk anymore, it's like our friendship transformed into only being together and talking at work." I responded honestly.</p><p>He put his hand on mine in comfort. I felt my eyes water and I laughed to hide before wiping any of the tears that could potentially fall.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm making such a big deal. I-I'm being silly. I'm so sorry." I sniffled quietly when it got harder and harder to stop the tears.</p><p>Jim got up from his seat and kneeled in front of me. He took both of my hands tightly but gently. He looked at me in my eyes and the tears started slowly falling without my permission.</p><p>"I'm sorry." I whispered closing my eyes.</p><p>I felt his warm hands on my cheeks.</p><p>"It's okay, Freddie. You don't have to be sorry." He told me softly.</p><p>I got on my knees in front of him and he wrapped his arms around me. I held him tightly and he rubbed my back reassuringly. I didn't bother stopping the tears. I just hoped to get rid of the pain. He pulled away only slightly and stared at me.</p><p>"It's gonna be fine, love. For the boys, it's probably only a hard time right now. You told me it happened before, like during the Hot Space area. I'm sure everything will come back to normal soon." He whispered loud enough for me to hear him clearly.</p><p>"But I don't want to come back to normal. Not if normal involves us being friends for a while then walking home separately to our house, them going to see their families and me getting home to no one. Everything's fine at the studio, but then everything falls apart when I'm alone."</p><p>"Who will love me when they won't be there? Who will love me for me and not for anything else?" I asked with an hoarse voice.</p><p>"What about me?"</p><p>He got closer to my face and caught my lips in a passionate kiss. His touch sent sparkles through my entire body. I didn't hesitate to emphasise the kiss as much as possible. It was weird, one moment ago, I felt incredibly sad and lonely and a moment later, I felt the happiest man alive.</p><p>I put my arms around his neck to put myself even closer to him. I loved his warm touch, his muscular arms, he was like a bear, and I loved it. His lips tasted coffee and he smelled like it too. I passed my hands through his short and dark hair. They were so soft.</p><p>He knew exactly what to do, what to do to make me feel good. To make me feel loved. I did the same, I did my best to be the best of myself. And I knew I was in love, from the butterflies in my stomach to the feeling that I needed him like I had never felt before.</p><p>When he pulled away, I didn't lose my smile, it only widened. His hands stayed on my waist, his eyes still in mine. I wanted to never pull away, to stay in this position forever. I felt loved like I never did before. And it was all because of him, because of the man I thought would forget about me after one night. But he stayed and now we were there.</p><p>"What if I was the one waiting for you to come back from the studio? You should never be on your own Freddie. And Mary doesn't deserve you. Not one bit. And I knew she was bad news as you started talking about her. She's selfish, she doesn't care about you, only about her own little life. Other people care about you. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, because i know it does, okay? And it won't be easy. Because she meant so much to you, and now she's gone. I know I'll never be her, but I'll always be there. And I love you, Freddie. I know its early and we barely know each other, but I'm in love with you, and everything I know of you." Jim said to me.</p><p>"Thank you, for being there. And I love you too." I whispered smiling.</p><p>Our lips lips found each other again. After a long other kiss, her approached his chair to mine and we ate our meal. Then, we went on his couch, he took me in his arms. We watched a movie that I didn't remember the name of, because it didn't matter. I fell asleep with my head on his lap, I probably looked ridiculous, but I simply didn't care. He carried me to his bed and embraced me all night.</p><p>I felt good, loved, every positive emotion that existed. He was there with me, and he wasn't leaving, I hoped, for a long time, maybe forever. I forgot about the problems at the studio, about the failure of a friendship I lived on for so long. I couldn't help. But only think about the man that kept holding me tight to his warm body. I was definitely in love.</p><p> </p>
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